And just like that...

Sometimes, I love the act of running. The Machine Moment, that point of complete absorption in the physical act of moving - enlightened locomotion. I can sustain it for...maybe a minute. Maybe two. But knowing it's there, just on the other side from where I am - a place that I can reach into and hold onto for just a little while. To be running and at peace with everything.

Sometimes, I love the fact of running - the knowledge that I left the house in the first place to put a few more miles of road under my feet. The slow progress that is progress nonetheless.

4:30pm (on 3/5/08)
3.5 miles
39 minutes - feeling sluggish - ate just before running
50 degrees
sports bra, leggings, black hoodie, grey long sleeved shirt (missed the sugoi)

Back on the Run

I don't know what happened. It's like I burst through something. Suddenly, all my obstacles were out of the way, and I looked down to find myself tying up my shoes and walking out the door. I went out to the park and started a good solid run.

3:30pm
3.35 miles
34 minutes
55 degrees
sports bra, wicking top, light hoodie, cotton/spandex dance pants

I think it's because of all of your support, advice, and encouragement when I hit the roughness. It was great to have some of you say that doing it is very different from saying that I "could have done it". There were those of you who said that no race is worth burnout or injury, and there were those of you who said that I didn't have to run if I didn't want to.

Thanks to all of you who wrote in to set me at ease.

I don't know that I'm completely out of the woods, so don't hesitate if you find something especially inspiring to send or write. The distance will only be getting longer from here.

* Extra points for anyone who knows the name of the band that wrote this song. Triple points if you know the year

That's Motivation!

So here's the thing. I've been suffering a crisis of motivation of late. A mental mountain has stubbornly refused to wear away. I've been missing runs, y'all and I needed a boost, so I recently went back to an email my friend, Elizabeth wrote me. She ran the New York Marathon last year, and said it was alright for me to share it with you here.


Hey there.

First of all, anything I know about pasta making I learned from you.

Second, I think it's totally great that you're running the big race with a friend, and that you're challenging yourself in such an amazing way.

Third, in answer to your question -- when things got tough, I kept going b/c I wanted to prove something to myself. They did get really tough -- when I reached my first runs of 17/18 miles -- my knees got really stiff and sore and I began to question the whole stupid enterprise. But I fought through it b/c I had come so far and was so determined to do this (again, really just to prove to myself that I have the will to stick something out like that). Also, I quit smoking in August, and the training really helped me with that process.

But once you complete your first long run (like 17/18 miles), you just KNOW in your heart you can do it. There seemed to be some sort of hurdle to get over -- -the hurdle of the unknown more than anything else. On the flip side, once you know you can do it, you may start to question (as I did) whether it's worth it to go through with it. I recall having a convo with my downstairs neighbor after a particularly gruelling work out where I said to him -- Dude, I KNOW I can do this, but I'm at the point where it seems pointless and it takes up so much time [gripe gripe gripe]. And he said (rightly so) -- Knowing you can do something, even being able to do something, and ACTUALLY DOING IT, are entirely different things. And that stuck with me very strongly. Plus at that point you only have a month or so to go most likely -- and at that point you're so heavily invested that as long as you're not in real pain or risking further injury to your body -- JUST DO IT!

It's totally awesome when you do, and the day after, and the week after, and every now and again when you're feeling shitty and then think back to what you've accomplished and you'll always have that amazing memory.


So if you have any advice, motivation, suggestions, or know someone who's run a marathon and has some thoughts to share, please leave a comment. Ideally, your comments would also help other folks in training who hit an icy patch along the way.